Sharing an entry I almost didn’t post. I wrote it prior to Jamie’s audition so it’s aged a bit. Spoiler- She got the role of Dorothy. Lots and lots of Over the Rainbow now. Enjoy.
Over the last couple of months, I’ve been hearing Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland an awful lot. Jamie’s theater program is performing The Wizard of Oz this fall so it’s pretty popular in this house. I love that song, so it doesn’t bother me at all. Tonight, as I was scrolling through social media, I heard it coming from downstairs and found myself crying uncontrollably.
It’s not the first time it’s brought me to tears. In fact, Judy Garland’s voice just messes with me. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, anyone? We’ve all been there. Life is stinking worse than smelly socks and all we want is happier times. This time I really lost it though.
I want to be with Drew. I know where he is. He’s somewhere over the rainbow.
I miss him so much. I just want to hold him. I want to hear his voice. Sometimes the ache seems unbearable. I’d settle for a dream until the good Lord calls me home.
Most days I keep it together now, but it’s moments like that which really take me back to the early days. I’d rather not go back. That’s the thing about grief. One minute you’re fine, the next minute you feel like you’ve been hit by a train. This happens months and even years after you lose someone.
On one of my Instagram posts today, I listed a few things that grief is. All of them were negative. I failed to mention that it is also beautiful. It is tragically beautiful, just like the song. It feels painful and full of hope at the same time. People fail to remember that in grief there is goodness. Nobody does grief like Judy Garland.
